If you walk the aisles of Home Depot or Lowes, you’ll see all that you need to set tile . . . right?  It must be easy.  Talk to almost anyone in the construction business, and they’ll tell you–“Yeah.  I can lay tile.” In fact, oodles of do-it-yourselfers install tile in their own homes.  [We're skipping the obvious--"Can they do it WELL?"  Some can, some can't.  But that's not the point right now.]

So if you want to find a really seasoned Tilesetter, someone really skilled in the craft, how do you spot him?  Here’s the golden question:

“Can you repair a leaking shower bottom?”

If he gives you a blank look, or stammers over an answer, you’re not talking to a Tilesetter.  You may be talking to a guy who uses some of the same tools, but he’s not a Tileguy.  Likewise–if you found an “accountant” who doesn’t know how to manually balance a checkbook, or a “nurse” who can’t manually [with a stethescope, cuff, and watch] take your blood pressure, you should pause.  There are a few basic skills that a legitimate professional, in any industry, should be able to perform.  Ironically, the shower bottom repair used to be a standard, everyday kind of repair in the world of Tilesetters.  If you couldn’t replace a shower pan, you’d NEVER claim to be a Tileguy.  Yet today, it’s a skill that’s becoming more and more rare–even among those who call themselves “Tilesetters.”  But if he can install/repair a shower bottom, you can be assured that he’s got a strong grip on the other fundamentals.  While the shower bottom is really basic, that doesn’t mean it’s the easiest.

So how do you spot a seasoned Portrait Photographer?  Luckily, you don’t have to ask, you can just LOOK at the work.  Here’s a golden question for Portrait Photographers:

“What can you do with a family?”

Posing a family is one of the cornerstone skills that is eroding from our industry.  For this exercise, ignore other key issues like background, lighting, color harmony, lighting, lens selection, lighting, composition, and lighting.  If you want to know if your Photographer is serious in the craft, look at the work he/she does with families.  Family work is basic work for Photographers, but that doesn’t mean it’s the easiest.

Allow me a quick caveat:  There are thousands amazingly skilled Portrait Photographers who have specialized their work, and just don’t shoot family photos [including  friends in Nashville and Crested Butte, dudes that are FAR beyond my own skill level].  For the purpose of this blog, I’m talking about the John/Jane Doe who has billed themselves as a Photographer who “specializes” in everything.

Browse through the Photographers you know on Facebook.  Check out their galleries.  Right now–before you even look–let me tell you the result.  You’ve seen it, but never noticed:  You see lots of photos of kids, usually alone.  If I’m REALLY getting specific, most of the images are close-up shots.  If you look carefully, you’ll see what I’m driving at:  Most of them have VERY FEW, if any, family photos on display. Why?

Working with a larger group–5 people, 8, 18–requires some skill, or practice, or study.  When I first started in the Portrait business, it scared the crap out of me to work with a large group!  As I’ve studied, it doesn’t scare me anymore, but it still requires some concentrated effort [if it's a really large group, I'll pull out the notebook and sketch a few poses before the session].  Some of my mentors in the business don’t think twice about posing a group of 10 or more.

Am I a master at posing, especially a large group?  No way.  Is it something that I can do?  Absolutely–it just takes some effort on my part.  It’s one of the skills that I’m intently studying right now, something I really want to improve.

Not that you asked, but if I’m creating a work for an extended family, here’s a glimpse of what goes through my mind [this is abridged for brevity]. . .

“Grandma and Grandpa need to be the focal pointPut them in the centerGrandpa needs to be seated comfortably, I don’t have alot of time to work with himMake this fast!Grandma & Grandpa have 3 grown kidsStart with one of the kids’ immediate families to the right–Dad, Mom, 2 kidsMake Mom look good!Always make Mom look goodDad needs to be standing, he mentioned his bad knees, I can’t sit him on the groundCrap–the ground isn’t really wet, but I’ve heard a few family members complain that it is; can’t sit them on the ground”Mom, snuggle up to your husband”Oops, looks like they don’t normally snugggleBring in their oldest child to hold hands with Mom, let’s wait until the end to bring in the 3 year old; he won’t stand still while I pose the restSymmetry!Flow!How do I make this flow with the odd number?”Alright, Mary” [the 2nd child, mother of 3, married]Wait–was her name really Mary?”MARTHA!I’m sorry, Martha, I’m not too brightMartha, can I bring you in next to your Dad/Grandpa?”Make Martha look good, always make Mom look good!Pose her slightly behind her seated Dad, flatter her figureRemind the group [Martha] to stand straight, shoulders backFlatter her figureNow bring in Martha’s husbandI can tell he doesn’t want to be hereHave him hold hands with his wifeBring in their teenage daughterGod bless her, she LOVES being in front of the camera!Seat her on the ground, demonstrate the lady-like pose I want from her, family laughs at my feminine poseSit her younger brother next to herNow the middle child next to DadStep back, survey the group, assure them that they’re doing great, and that the hardest pose is nearly overHurry, Bill, remember that Grandparents need to be done soon”Can I move?I don’t like this side of me facing the camera”says Mom #1″OF COURSE!  I want you to look your best” I assure herQuickly go to her, turn her the other directionNow the 3rd child, a Dad with 1 child”Dad, could I have you on the end here, take a knee?”Glad that he’s  a good sportBring his 5 year old next to him, lean the child into himSnag the 3 year old from the first family, stand child in front of his Dad, holding hands with seated GrandmaLook at the group, no, not quite right, bring the 3 year old to hold hands with the sibling on the end, makes a better flow in the photoDash back to the tripod, glad that I’ve already composed and focused and set the flash properlyCheck the viewfinder to make sure the camera is still set properlyHow does ANYONE shoot without a tripod?!!”All right, everyone, great posture!”Yes, that helped Martha [and the rest]Go fast, Bill, grab the kids’ attentionBalance the shoe on my head, kids temporarily freezeSnap the shutter as the shoe falls, kids loosen upAgain with the shoe trick, now the kids are laughing”Right here on me, adults, your kids are doing great!”So far I’ve snapped about 7 photos, and I’ve got great expressions from kids”Mom, can you flip the hair away from your eye?  I don’t want any of your face covered up”Always make Mom look goodShe doesShe’s really prettyParents keep looking down at their kids, can’t get them to look at me! . . . the kids are doing great!Grandma keeps talking, giving instructions to the Grandchildren, like she always doesJust like my own Grandma, always talking during the photosGuess she doesn’t get the luxury of a few moments of not corralling kidsNow it’s about 12 frames down, I’ve got everyone I want, except for GrandmaGrandma is ALWAYS the most difficult person in a photoChuckle to myself, think of my own GrandmaI need to call herIf I can get Grandma smiling at me, I’ll have the shot and NOT HAVE TO DO ANY HEADSWAPS!And there she is, looking at me with a grin!  All right, family–you did it!”      Now we’ll shoot a simple standing pose at another spot, then another variation of a standing pose in a third location.  No–I’ve pushed Grandpa enough.  Only one standing pose.

What say you?  Please chime in with your input about finding a skilled Photographer.  I know there are plenty of other indicators, the Family Posing is just one that I’ve been thinking about recently.

And speaking of Family Poses, 2 quick notes:  1.  Our Springtime photo events are April 15-17th, and also April 21-23rd.  It’s a beautiful time of year to renew your home decor.  2.  We’d love to see you at the Beach!  If you’re anywhere near Destin, Florida, this summer, let’s create something superb!  We’ll be there May 23rd-August 31.

And finally:  If your potential Photographer is REALLY amazing, he/she can also repair a shower bottom!  Not that I’m bragging, I’m just pointing out that I am the only Photographer, that I personally know, that can.  But that’s not really a vital skill for a Photographer, so you can overlook this gap in others.  [losers]

No Jr. High kid wants to see his/her baby photos.  Luckily, those days of humiliation will soon be over.  The tragedy, Mom, is that you won’t see your baby’s photos when he/she gets to Jr. High, either.

Let me ask you 2 quick questions–just give me  decent guesses at your answers:
1.  How many photographs do you have on your computer?

Sheree and I have 2 desktops, 4 laptops, and 4 external hard drives.
2.  How many photographs do you think WE have on our computers?

Do you have your guess in mind?  Let me give you a hint–both numbers are the same.

You have NO photographs on your computer.  None.  Nada.  Zilch.  Neither do I.  The only exception is if you have photos taped to the monitor.

Formerly, cameras created negatives.  Now that we’re in the digital age, cameras create digital images.  If there is no actual printer involved in your photography, you do not have photographs.  You have images.  So what’s the big deal?

When I was in college, I wrote a paper about a Civil War surgeon [early 1860’s].  I studied the letters that he sent home during the war.  The letters he wrote with his own hand, I actually held in my hands!

Yet I don’t have the Atari that my 5th-grade fingers wore out.  Sadly, I’m not writing on my old Commodore 64. Just as my parents abandoned the coveted 8 track player, I likewise ditched my cassette tapes.  Last I recall, my record player expired with elementary school.  [Ironically, I DO own a phonograph that still works.]

Here is the great deception of the digital age:  “If you have the images on your computer, you’ll have them forever.”

Yeah.  Right.

I hate to remind you, but your computer has never been closer to dying, or crashing, or becoming obsolete.  Your images will go with it.  But you’re smarter than that, and you have your photos backed up, right?  I’ve had 3 hard drives go on to the great Silicone Heap in the Sky.  Where are those images now?  Just a very few weak memories, fading more as I get older.

There’s another discussion about the future viability of printing from a CD, or even negatives, but that’s another issue.  For now, remember this:

Print your images!  The paper will last.  Your computer won’t.

For heaven’s sake:  Your baby’s total humiliation on the first date hangs in the balance!  That’s not something you want to miss.

HEAR YE!  HEAR YE!!

OCTOBER 7 – 10th Beyond Photography will be hosting the Fall Furniture in the Field event!

For the first time in 9 years, we will not be shooting photos with the pumpkins.

“Oh, My!” you declare.  “Why not?!”

So glad you asked.

Sheree and I talk all year long to folks about their family portraits, but we create most of them in the last few months of the year.  [Although we also create quite a few during Summertime on the Beach.]  When someone says, “No–I’m not interested right now.  I want one!  Just not now.” Would you like to hear the top 2 reasons that we hear for the “no, not now” answer?

#2:  “I want to lose more weight first.” [I'll save my response to this for another blog.  Don't worry--it won't be tacky . . . I'm at 31% BMI!]

But the absolute, #1, without a doubt, unequivocal reason I hear, “no, not now . . . . ”

#1:  “I want to wait for Fall, when the trees start changing color.” No kidding–I hear this all year long.  If you’re one of the Texas readers, and you’ve never seen a Fall in Arkansas, then you are missing out!  It’s such a great time of year, I don’t blame anyone for wanting to wait.

When we first started in business, approximately 70% of our year’s income rolled in from October through December.  Now that we’re a little more seasoned, it’s down to about 50%.  [This isn't because our Autumn hasn't gotten much less busy, but the rest of our year has filled up.]  Needless to say:  From now through mid-December, Sheree and I are running at full-speed!  Thank you–we’re tremendously grateful that we are.

So what does this all have to do with our lack-of-pumpkins?

Everyone is busy, and we all seem to have too little time.  Not only is Beyond Photography supremely busy during the last few months of the year, I’m further limited by the number of sunsets for shooting.  Granted:  I have just as many of sunrises, but folks don’t seem as interested in seeing me that early in the a.m.  We’ve heard several of our clients ask for something less “thematic” [like Pumpkins] for a Fall session.  Since our time is so limited this time of year, we’ve decided to skip the Pumpkin special this year, and devote the time for something more timeless.

I love the outdoor antique furniture concept!!!! I’m able to create some great images of families, Seniors, kids, maternity, bridals, etc.  Sheree has invested a great amount in our furniture, and we have 3 antique couches, as well as 3 chairs.  We’ll be planting them all around our locale for different backgrounds.

THIS EVENT WILL STILL BE A QUICK PIC, AND IT WILL ALSO BE FOR FULL SESSIONS.  If you don’t know the difference, you’ll see below where I’ve pasted a link from our Santa blog.  You’ll also see the packages for Christmas Quick Pics–these are all the same packages for this special as well.  As always, you can find our pricelist for a full session on our website:  www.beyond-photography.com.

I hope to see you soon.  Let’s create something spectacular!

-mr. bill

501.766.5671     or email      beyondphotography1@gmail.com

*What is the difference between a “Quick Pic” and a full session?  Why would I choose one over the other?

We’re shooting both types of sessions for Christmas & Fall Furniture.  Here’s the difference:

FULL SESSIONS

• will allow me much more time to capture much more variety–usually around 80-120 images to view.  I’ll reserve more time for you, and shoot for approximately 1 hour.  This will give me plenty of time to create a volume of work.
• you’ll have the luxury of meeting the following week to view your images.  You’ll see a beautiful slideshow, and we’ll walk with you through the ordering process as you choose your portraits/albums/cards/etc.
• if you think you’d like a wall portrait, I’d strongly encourage a full session.  If you might like an album, you’ll certainly need a full session.
• our Reservation Fee is $350 ($25 Creation Fee & $325 Portrait credit).  This fee is required in order to reserve your time.  Because of our limited sessions, we do not hold appointments without our reservation fee.  If you would prefer to call with your credit card info, feel free — 501.766.5671.
• our standard price list applies to full session [click here to see our prices].
• understand that the Reservation secures Mr. Bill’s time just for you!  Therefore Reservation Fees are non-refundable.  If you call within 72 hours to reschedule your session, we will do our best to accommodate your request.  If you have a friend that would like to take your appointment, we’ll be happy to assist you.  Otherwise, we cannot refund your deposit.
  

QUICK PICS

• obviously, are much faster.  Our session will last no longer than 15 minutes.  We’ll only shoot on one piece of furniture, and have much less variety–about 10-20 images to view.
• you’ll select your portraits immediately after your session.  [Sorry, we won't have time to prepare a slideshow.  Images will show straight from the camera--no cropping, color correcting, retouching, etc--all of that work will apply to the prints that you order, you simply won't see it during the preview session.] Prices are listed below.
• our Quick Pic Reservation is $175 plus tax=$190.75 ($25 Creation Fee & $163.50 Portrait credit).
• due to the quick nature of shooting, and ordering in a large volume, Quick Pics are slightly discounted  [see below].  We do allow you to order more than one package!
• We do ask that you purchase a wall portrait [16×20 or larger] OR at least one portrait package when you order.
• understand that the Reservation secures Mr. Bill’s time just for you!!  Therefore, the Quick Pic Reservation Fees are non-refundable.  If you call within 72 hours to reschedule your session, we will do our best to accommodate your request.  If you have a friend that would like to take your appointment, we’ll be happy to assist you.  Otherwise, your deposit will not be refunded.

*How do I schedule an appointment?

Please call or email.  We’ll spend some time listening to your “wish list,” then schedule you for either a full session or a Quick Pic.  When we set your appointment time, we’ll ask for your retainer.  We can send an invoice via Paypal, or take a credit card number over the phone.  We do not reserve slots without your deposit.  Email us at beyondphotography1@gmail.com, or call 501.766.5671.

If you have any other questions, please post them in the comments section below.  I’ll then know better how to answer the questions that everyone is asking.

the Big H

Howdy–I’m Harrison . . . mr. bill’s middle child.  Ever since Dad invented the Watermullet, he’s been trotting all over town, showing it off.  [I'm ashamed to say that he'll soon have more Watermullet photos to share.  Someone please stop him.  One day I'll be a teen-ager, and Dad's blogs won't be nearly so funny.]

In the meantime, business still goes on, and the Muddy Mayhem portrait event is quickly approaching: September 11-12th.  My siblings and I convened, then decided that I should be the one to tell you a little more about the Mud Special.  Dad has created oodles of photos of us [but not nearly as many as you'd think], but none are as great as the mud photos!  Well . . . meeting Santa is pretty great, so those are good photos.  5 a.m. in the Outer Banks, in front of a lighthouse, wasn’t such a fun time.

Here’s my 5 reasons why I loved the Mud Session from last year, and why I’m eager to jump in again:

5.  I’m not like most other kids.  I don’t like to sit in one place, do exactly as I’m told, and look just “the right way” for my photos–whatever that means.  In most of Dad’s photos, I’m laughing wildly, or looking like a doofus, or just “acting like a maniac,” as Dad likes to say.  When Mom and Dad dropped us in the mud for photos, I had found my home.  I laughed wildly, looked like a doofus, acted like a maniac . . . and Dad did, too.  They still tell people that I “stole the show” in that session.

4.  Summertime is hot . . . and a mudbath feels great.  After the session, Mom turned the hose on me, then a real shower.  Sweet relief from the heat.

3.  During most of our portrait sessions, Mom keeps a close, mean eye on my clothes.  I hate getting dirty, but dirt loves getting Harrison.  See the photo below.

mud gets harrison

2.  An occasional worm.

1.  It’s hard being handsome all of the time.  Dad wrote about this awful curse a few blogs ago.  Suffice to say, it was great to cut loose and stop being so “reely, reely, reely, reediculously good-looking” [Derek Zoolander].

So–if your kid sounds anything like me [lucky you!], then you should schedule a Muddy Mayhem session.  As of right now, Dad only has 15 appointments remaining . . . and he’s also shooting Watermelon photos during the same time.  I’m told that packages start at $150–so Dad will ask for a retainer of $163.50 [tax included] to schedule your appointment.  All of that money applies to your portraits–no session fee.  Since Mom and Dad just sent out an email blast about the specials, their appointments will soon be gone.  Call or email right now.

beyondphotography1@gmail.com–or–501.766.5671

Thanks for checking in.  I’ll hope to blog for you again soon.

-The Big H

It’s a non-issue here.

Check some of the local blogs around here, or chat with a friend who’s visited, and you’ll hear the same response repeatedly–”What oil?”  Naturally, people here are talking about it still, but not nearly as much as the beginning of the summer.  We are seeing some clean-up crews on the beaches, gathering tarchips, but that’s all.  The water is still amazing, we’re still enjoying the ocean, and we’ve been spared the dramatic impact we’re seeing far West of here.  It’s a great summer to be in the Destin area.

On a slightly-related note:

Sheree and I have just launched www.blessdestin.com.  It’s a project, however small, that we’ve just launched to offer a word of encouragement to the locals here.  Check out the site.  Then, if you’re visiting the area, or know someone who is, participate!

I hope that you have at least a mediocre day.  Talk to you soon,

mr. bill

The boys and I have sojourned over 1300 miles, camped in Summertime/Arkansas tents, crawled through the depths of the Earth [spelunking], rappelled into a sinkhole, fired weapons [including the spud variety] at bloodthirsty trees that were charging us, and ate a weekend of meals prepared over charcoal . . . except the MRE.  That MRE meatloaf I had for lunch–I was grateful to eat the perfectly-shaped meatish patty, but it really bothered me when I dropped a large dollop of the meatish-sauce on my leg.  I was most upset that the others had already taken the Tabasco vials.

So now we’re back in Destin, and I’m looking forward to more paddleboarding this week.  I’m also thrilled to shoot two more sessions this week, and I’ll probably force myself to enjoy a cigar.  It’s  a good time to be here.

And what about the oil situation?

If you read the last blog, and I know that you did, since my writing is like crack cocaine to your mind, you know that we have finally seen some impact from the oil.  We’re in Miramar Beach, on the Frangista side.  When you stroll the beach, you’ll notice small chips of tar.  If you want to see photos, check the previous blog.  Have the tar chips kept people off the beach, and out of the water?  Not hardly.  The hurricane West and South of here has also helped the sheen situation here.  Winds have kept the more damaging effects away from our area.

The damage that Sheree and I have seen is primarily economical.  We’ve seen an influx of tourists for the holiday weekend, but there should still be lots more people here.

Not that it’s much, but we’ve decided to provide a little of ourselves for the residents here.  If you’re a lady in/going to be in the Destin area, we’d love for you to participate.  If you know some folks here or coming this way, please forward the link–we’d like to see as many people as we can.

www.blessdestin.com

Until next time, thanks.

mr. bill

Had you driven by the Frangista Beach area this morning, about 8:30 am, you could have seen me standing on the water about 50 yards offshore.  Had you looked another 60 yards or so, you would have seen a couple of dolphins patrolling for breakfast.

I went this morning to check the beach conditions, and also embarked on a new exercise regiment.  What brilliant plan have I devised for toning my flab?  Simple–I’ve decided to start STANDING UP.  Really–that’s it.  I spent 40 minutes this morning standing up, falling, swimming, then standing, wobbling, kneeling, standing . . . then repeating as necessary.  Now, 4 hours later, the muscles from my toes [really--can you ever remember actively engaging the muscles of your toes?!]  up through my back are feeling the impact.  Is that lactic acid I smell?

Standing up is more challenging than it looks–if you’re stagnant, about 40 pounds overweight, and standing on a paddleboard. [Think of a surfboard and a long canoe oar.]

Nonetheless, if you’re going to be standing anyway, let me recommend the paddleboard.  It’s a fun challenge and a quick workout.  More amazing, though, is the company you’ll keep.  I went out alone, and therefore I noticed more of the ocean life that darts through the water.  The June Grass is clearing out, and I remember why millions of people visit this area.  The water is truly spectacular.

And that leads me to the question of the day:  How is the oil situation?

From where I was standing, it couldn’t have looked better.

I’ve surveyed the news outlets this morning, and to my knowledge, all is still clear.  Amidst the wreckage being done in along the coast, I can’t help but wonder–“How has Destin been spared this long?”

There’s a few reasons, I surmise.  If you see an aerial map of the area, we sit somewhat further into the Gulf–like the land here got a nudge away from the water.  Also–and this is amazing to see–the winds and currents have controlled the dispersion of the oil.  In previous blogs, I’ve linked the “oil tracker,” courtesy of the New York Times.  Click here to see the path of the oil since the spill. When the page opens, you’ll see the location/estimates from today.  Scroll the slider back to the first day of the explosion on the rig, press play, and you’ll be shocked.  When you see how the oil has so randomly spread, you’ll see why the “predictions” of impact are more like SWAG’s.  [Scientific, Wild-A$$ Guesses]

So today again, I’m thrilled to say–The Water is Beautiful!  Wish you were here!

-mr. bill

PS:   I told you that I went paddleboarding alone, and I should explain.  Most paddleboarders, frankly, wouldn’t be able to stay with me.  When you travel that slow, and lumber around that clumsily, few athletes could keep my pace.  Not that I’m bragging or anything.  I’m just sayin’.

Our Facebook pages are filled with questions . . . how are the beaches?  have you seen oil?  have you canceled your trip?  can you still shoot photos?  are the beaches closed?  do you smell anything in the air?  what are the locals saying?  how, mr. bill, do you retain your rugged good-looks and youthfulness?  . . . The questions go on and on.  Normally, this is where I tell you how beautiful the beaches are, how the sessions are going wonderfully, how our kids are having a superb time playing in the sand, that we’re enjoying fabulous seafood, etc., etc.  This year, though, everyone is asking about the oil disaster.  So let me tell you what we’ve seen different this year than in the other 7 years we’ve been in Destin:

Nothing.

No kidding–the beaches look beautiful, the sessions are going wonderfully, our kids are having a superb time playing in the sand, we’re enjoying fabulous seafood, etc., etc.

Not that you asked, let me give you a glimpse into Sheree and my perspective on the situation, and I’ll also try to answer the questions you’re asking.  Remember that I’m no expert, this is just the look from a guy who visits the area once a year–so take this input for what it’s worth.  Let me begin with the “business” side of our time here–how is Beyond Photography handling the oil issue?

As you may or may not know, Sheree and I have just finished 1 of 11 weeks of our stay near the Destin area.  We’re planning to stay the entire time.  We have not seen a trace of oil, no tar balls, we haven’t noticed an odious smell in the air, and to my knowledge, the experts are saying that Destin remains completely untouched.  We’ve not had any sessions cancel.  In fact, just this week we booked 2 more.  I understand the panic that vacationers are feeling right now.  When I listen to the news, it sounds pretty awful.  Who knows?  Maybe it will be bad, but right now it’s great.  I know that oodles of families have canceled plans to visit this summer.  If you’re unable to change plans at the last minute [difficult work schedules, etc.], I understand.  If you’re more flexible, and you can adjust schedules more easily, I’d suggest that you still come.  Our friends here who operate businesses understand the dilemma you’re facing–and they’re all refunding deposits for clients who cancel . . . even last-minute cancellations.  [Check with your Condo, etc., and ask about their specific policy.  Believe me, they have an answer, and they're giving it often right now.]   Naturally, we’re doing the same.  Folks have wondered:  “Will you refund my portrait retainer if we have to cancel?” Seriously?   Of course we will–unless we’d like to be as popular as BP Oil is right now [ignore that our initials are the same].  We’ll either apply the retainer to another session, or refund.

So regarding our business here:  It’s business as usual.  Really–nothing has changed.

Here’s a question Sheree fielded on Facebook yesterday:  “Please be honest.  We’re planning to come down to Destin.  How do the beaches look?”

You didn’t have to even say, “Please.”  Here’s our honest answer.  Again, I’m no Marine Biologist, nor a weather guy, but here is what we’ve seen.

Destin and Miramar Beach [a little further East, where we're staying] looks the same as it ever has–except the water is a little more emerald this year, more brilliantly-colored than normal.  Honestly, we haven’t seen any change.  Honestly, if I do, I’ll be quick to post a blog to that effect.  Now for the less-positive news.  Sheree and I drove to Perdido Key for a session last night [about 67 miles West of here].  The water is beautiful, folks are still swimming and fishing there.  Honestly, though, there is a noticeable smell in the air.  It’s not overpowering, and it comes and goes with the winds, but y0u’ll smell it.  I guess you’d call it a “petroleumish” smell, but not nearly as obnoxious as a refined petroleum, not as distinct as the smell of motor oil, but more . . . vague.  That’s all the effect we noticed, other than boats poised to block the waterway inlets.

It’s been tough to watch the impact on the locals here.  The media panic has crippled some businesses here.  Busineses should be booming right now, but they’re seeing a decrease in visitors, and lots of cancellations.  Not that I know specific numbers, but judging from traffic, Destin seems “really, really busy,” not “insanely busy,” as it often is right now.  I know of a fisherman who lost 11 chartered trips–last month–when he could have still fished anywhere he normally would have.  That’s at least $11,000 for him.  And that’s only one business.

So maybe you’re wondering:  Why are Sheree and I staying so optimistic?

Why wouldn’t we?

1.  We know that we have no control over the oil spill, or where/when it lands.  We can assume that things will go well, or assume the worst.  So we could wring our hands, and pull up and leave tomorrow.   Or we could plan to enjoy ourselves and work as planned, until we can’t.  If we do have to return early [worst-case scenario for us], we’re so, so, so grateful that we can.  We’re able to pack up and continue our work back home, or some other location.  Our local friends here don’t have that luxury.

2.  The waves and the wind have a tremendous impact on the direction of the oil.  Want proof?  Check out one of the links that Sheree has religiously followed: http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2010/05/01/us/20100501-oil-spill-tracker.html

Right now, we choose to hope that the oil avoids this area.  Will the oil affect this area?  I suspect it will.  In the meantime, we choose optimism.

If you’d like to see more information about the oil, and its impact on this region, let me give you a few links to the folks who really know:

NOAA.com

destinoilspill.com

Until next time, we’ll keep you updated on what we see here.  Thanks for checking in, and we’ll talk to you soon.

Yours,

mr. bill

Not “scandalous” in the ripping-folks-off/stealing kinda way, but “scandalous” in the are-you-serious-that-you-really-get-paid-to-do-that?! kinda way.  Let me tell you about a few of them.

Back in High School, before I was known as “Mr. Bill,” I was known to children of the town as “The Mr. Snowcone Man.”  Yes, I ran the local snowcone stand.  In the heat of summer, I stood in a frigid metal building, slinging syrupy deliciousness.  I could eat all the snowcones I wanted, and no–I never got tired of them.  [Probably my favorite was 1/2 Peach, 1/2 Lime.]  It’s ironic that my job required me to maintain a spotlessly clean workspace.  How did I lose that skill?

Fast forward a few years, and see me as a Youth Minister, sometimes a Preacher.  What a great job!  You know how you go to the movie theater on a weekend night, and there is a crowd of teens milling around the front, acting like fools, trying to impress each other?  Isn’t it irritating to see them there?  Not to me–that’s, oddly, when I most miss being a Youth Guy . . . I used to know 1/2 of those kids, and I’d be milling around in the midst them.  I don’t think I performed that job especially well, but I sure did love it.  More irony–I didn’t act too much like a teenager when I was one, then I’m hired to relate to them.   I wasn’t the “cool guy” Youth Minister, I was more of the “Not-a-Teen, Not-a-Dad” Youth Minister.

And somewhere before and after the Youth Ministry years, it’s “Bill the Tilesetter.”  Post-college, with a degree in hand [Double Major, actually], no job, and no serious marketable skill . . . Steve/the Sohlman hired me to train as a Tileguy.  That, after college, is when my education really began.  Without a doubt, both of my boys will graduate High School as competent Tilesetters.  It’s a fabulous gig!  You’re always meeting new people, you see immediate results from your work, you provide a lasting improvement to someone’s home, you employ your problem-solving/unravel-the-mystery skills . . . and frankly, it’s therapeutic to physically work your body to exhaustion.  Random note:  My tilesetting years taught me about my extreme saltiness.  When I sweat profusely, and it dries on my skin, I have white salt deposits left on my arms and shirt.  Freakish.  When time allows, I’ll sometimes jump back into a tile job with the Sohlman.

And now I envision myself as the old guy visiting the “College and Career” class at the local High School [do they still have those?].

“Class, this is Mr. Bill from Beyond Photography.  He’s been nice enough to come here, please give him your attention.”

In my mind, I stand before those young, impressionable, disinterested minds, and talk about being a Portrait Photographer.  I tell them how I still get to play with babies [and change diapers occasionally], I meet people from all walks of life, I have Santa’s cell number [shameless name-dropping there], and I travel the country creating portraits of families.  I finish my brilliant, witty, inspiring presentation, and the students leap to their feet in applause.  Some cry, some swoon, some stare speechless.  They’ve been moved, motivated to be better citizens of our great nation and world. All in a day’s work for me.

Then the unaffected Career Day teacher decimates my brief glory.  Kids snap to attention, instantly forgetting me when the teacher concludes:

“Tomorrow, class,” he drones, “we’ll hear from a professional Magician.”

DOH!  Not the Magician!!!

Scott

I’ve known this guy since 8th grade . . . and he was practicing sleight-of-hand back then!  We even attended Clown Camp together . . . yes, a real summer camp about being a Clown.  Little did we know how it would serve our respective careers.  Ask me sometime to blow bubbles with soap and my hands, or balance a metal chair on my chin.  Did I mention that I can juggle, too?  Great skills, yes, but they pale in comparison to a bona-fide Professional Magician!  How professional, you ask?

Currently Scott performs over 300 Live shows a year. Scott has been seen in Magic magazine, the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, and on television affiliates for ABC, CBS, NBC, &  FOX.  He’s opened for comedian Jay Leno and for Las Vegas Headliners “The Scintas” at the  Rio Hotel and Casino Resort.

In case you’re wondering . . . over 300 shows a year is absolutely unheard of in the magic world!

Scott recently hired me to create some new promotional work for him.  He’s performing at the amazing Rae Lynn Theater in Hot Springs, AR through the summer [he's actually on a plane back from Vegas as I write].  If you’re looking for an entertaining night away, and a show that your kids will love, go see him.  If you’re looking for an intelligent theological discussion, and education about random German beers, he can also help with that.

Check out the quick video below to see one of the tricks that my kids love.  If you go to the show, tell him that Mr. Bill sent you.  If you do, you’ll get . . . nothing.  But tell him anyway.

I’ll see you soon.  Thanks for tuning in, and thanks for allowing me such a scandalous job.  I couldn’t be more grateful.

Yours,

-mr. bill

Weak vocalists love reverb.

Poor cooks love Helper with the hamburger.

Fishermen, however, don’t need any extra help–we just lie.

I dare say there is nothing more sacred than the bond forged between generations that go fishing together.  It only makes sense!  In any other context, the guys would be known as “partners in crime,” and they’d be “thick as thieves.”  It sounds much more pleasant, though, when you just call them “fishing buddies.”

If you read the previous blog about Daddy and His Girl, you saw a quick glimpse into a beautiful relationship between Dad and his girl.  Here’s another look at his family . . . with some of the guys he loves.  I asked PaPa to tell his best fish story . . . and it wasn’t anything as big as his Peyton’s.

fish tales

P.S.

Bad Photographers love Black & White.  “No–it’s not out of focus, shot in terrible lighting . . . it’s black & white, and it’s ART.”