Last week you learned a little about my musical gift . . . and that Santa thinks I’m not using my gift for the forces of good.  This confession is a little more . . . personal.  It’s an timeless tale of forbidden love, and passion gone too far.  I’m certain that you’ll soon see me on the Lifetime Channel, starring in a made-for-TV-movie.

If you know Sheree [a.k.a., "The Hot Chick"] and me, you know that we deeply love each other.  We’ve been married just over 10 years now.  We live together, work together, and now homeschool our kids together.  And we travel a lot together.  And we still like each other!  From the outside, I’m sure that our love story looks like a poem, written by angels, in a cloud.  Yes, life is good NOW, but it wasn’t always so.  Before Sheree, I longed for another love.  Santa reminded me of my faithless heart, and suggested that I come clean.

Ironically, it’s my fault that Santa remembered my former love.  Darnit-to-heck!  Santa found a love poem that I’d hidden away in our chimney.

“Really, mr. bill?  You’re a poet?” you ask.

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.  Obviously you missed the onslaught of poems when my buddy Jeff had his spleen removed.  Luckily, you can click here to read them.

I won’t bother with anymore explanation–the poem says it all.  Curse my wayward heart!

If only I could/find 2 as good–as we.

Your love I savor!/My heart finds favor–from Thee.

I give you my heart/and you heart my heart–with ease.

My passion you ignite!/My bowels take flight–sweet manganese.

None can understand/when I take you in my hand–I must consume!

I ravenously devour!/Then within the hour–lusts’ foul fumes.

Only fools presume/that you are an average legume.

You are:

THE LENTIL.

the poem and me

I feel especially guilty about the photo above.  Notice the framed portrait of Sheree and me to the right.  I’m sorry, sweet bride.

so beautiful

Stay tuned for more of the ugly details of my private life.

Fortunately, Santa has still agreed to arrive early in Arkansas for portraits!  We’ll be shooting in Little Rock and Hot Springs.  [We're hammering out details of 2 other cities.]  If you’d like to see the information about pricing, and the process, click here.  And if you’re wondering, the answer is YES!  We are already scheduling appointments for Santa/Christmas photos.  Call or email anytime!  I’ll talk to you soon,

mr. bill

501.766.5671       or        beyondphotography1@gmail.com

Tonight is the night when I proclaim my dark secrets to the world.  Actually, tonight is only the first of many nights . . . it seems that I have an extensive list of wrong-doings that I need to clear.

If you’re just now checking in, I’m mr. bill from Beyond Photography.  I’ve lived several years as a professional Photographer, and have enjoyed many of those years photographing children with Santa Claus.  Every year has gone better than the last, including the sessions of my own wonderful kids with the Claus.  This year, however, is sadly different.  I learned this summer that I have been placed on Santa’s infamous Naughty List!  You thought it was a myth?  A scare tactic?  Yeah–I used to be a fool, too.  Believe me–it’s real.  And it stinks being here.  If you’d like to learn more about my awful discovery, and my boys’ disturbing reaction to the news, click here.  Then come back to this blog.

Anyway, back to the present.  After learning that I landed on the Naughty List, Santa then gave me a glimmer of hope.  He reminded me that confession is good for the soul . . . and informed me that I should air my dirty laundry.  I only hope that I will somehow find redemption in this awful journey . . . .

***********

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I am really, exceptionally gifted.  Seriously.  Sure–I can make an amazing salad.  I can make flatulence noises with my palm and eye socket.  I won my 5th grade spelling bee by remembering to capitalize “Asia.”  I know how to slice a banana in half, without cutting or tearing the peel.  I can tell you all day long how cool I am.

What most people don’t know–other than my extremely fortunate family–is that I have been given the gift of MUSIC!!!!!  It’s true! I love listening to music.  If I’m at my computer [which is often], or in my truck, I am listening to music.  Truth be told–there are very few people who can play the radio as well as I can.  Again:  I’m not bragging, that’s just how it is.

Can I play an instrument?  No.  But can I sing?  HECK YEAH!!!

Some folks have the gift of perfect pitch [whatever]. Others have a keen knack for harmony [whatever that means].  A few folks, I’m told, have a tremendous range [like that's important].

“What is YOUR gift, mr. bill?” you ask.  That’s insightful of you to inquire.  Thank you.

God has given me the gift of VOLUME!  For whatever I might lack in training or skill, I can compensate in volume.  Ask my hot wife, Sheree.  She knows.

Like all brilliant artists, I need a muse . . . an inspiration, if you will. When I tap into my inspiration . . . it moves me.  Deeply.

Apparently, that’s where Santa has a problem.  He seems to think that my musical influences are sub-standard.  [That hurts.]

Apparently Santa really does “see you when you’re sleeping, sees you when you’re awake.” In fact, here’s a photo of me.  I’m working on the computer, listening to music.  If you look carefully, you can see the tears on my face, and the tear-stains on my shirt.  My muse speaks to me, inspiring me to greater volume, demanding that I share my gift of loud-singing with the world.

moved to tears

I’m sorry you had to see me in such a weakened state.  I can’t control the emotion that music releases.

You’re most likely wondering–“Does Santa hate music?” No.  Not at all.  In fact, he loves the [crappy], British-inspired,  Christmas carols we sing.  [Admit it--they really are lousy.  When is the last time you hung "boughs of holly," or demanded "figgy pudding?"  How many folks who live near the birthplace of Jesus sing about the beautiful white Christmases?!  But I digress.]

Apparently Santa has a problem with the music that I love.  He scrolled through my iPod and found something unsettling.  He demanded that I confess to the world . . . my musical muse is . . .

my musical muse

Sigh.

When other Jr. High kids were playing sports, hanging with other kids, I was alone at my house, teaching myself calligraphy–listening to Barry Manilow.  “Ultimate Manilow.”  I dare you to listen to Mandy and not cry.  Try it.  You’ll weep.  Then you’ll sing it with unbridled volume!

When Santa confronted me, I tried to weasel my way out of the accusation.  Not smart.  He really does see everything!  He pulled 2 cassette tapes from his pocket . . . tapes that he’d snagged from my truck.

2 other musical influences stared me in the face.  As if Manilow wasn’t bad enough!  Forgive me, kind reader.  Before I show the photo, please let me remind you:

We’re soon photographing kids, all over Arkansas, with Santa.  If you need full information, click here to read the blog about pricing, location, etc.

You’re wondering what might offend Santa more than my man Manilow?

worse than manilow

I’m sorry.  If you can bear to learn any more, subscribe to this blog.  More awful details about me soon.

Mournfully Yours,

mr. bill

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Do you remember the parable of the Crappy Samaritan?  Or Beethoven’s Ode to Joyless?  How about the classic Christmas movie:  It’s a Woeful Life?

Of course you don’t.  But I do.  Suddenly I see things in a different light.

As you may or may not know, my family and I just returned from a summer of work and vacation in Florida.  What could be better than a beautiful stay on the Emerald Coast?  What could possibly improve on such grandeur?  I can tell you:

Strolling down the beach one evening, WE STUMBLED UPON SANTA!!!!!!

The Claus Chillaxes

In one of the worst moments of my life, I nervously approached and asked for his autograph.  I suspect that Santa loves giving autographs . . . unless you mistake him for Jerry Garcia.  Oops.  As I would soon learn, that was only one of the mistakes I’d tallied for the year.  If you want a terrible vacation story, try this on for size–Santa informed me that I have been put on the infamous Naughty List.

OUCH.

As if that wasn’t humiliating enough, Santa then broke the news to my sweet, loving, innocent little boys!  Let me warn you:  The following video clip is disturbing.  No child should know that his own father has been banished to the “other list.”  You’ll see the courageous reaction of my boys when they learn the news.  Please do not watch this clip near children, faint-hearted women, or at work.  My poor little sons.  I hope they recover from the news . . . .

You might be wondering, nervously, how I landed on the Naughty List.  Thankfully, Santa left me a list.  [He has got to get over his list-obsession!  Listing stuff, then checking it twice . . . can you say "OCD?"]  Santa then reminded me that “confession is good for the soul.”  So here on the blog, I’ll be airing the dirty laundry that got me here.  Sigh.  I hope that you can somehow, mercifully, still look me in the eye after you learn some pretty awful secrets about me.  Stay tuned for more sordid details.

In the meantime, Santa has kindly agreed to still meet for Christmas Portraits!  No wonder he’s an official “Saint.”  We’re still hammering out details, including a few new cities.  Thus far, I can tell you [with certainty] that we’ll be photographing:

in Little Rock November 11-14th, and

in Pine Bluff November 5th and 6th.

Once again we’ll be scheduling full sessions, and Quick Pics.  The next blog will have pricing information and more details about scheduling.  5 eager folks have already contacted us!  It’s going to be a great year.  I’ll look forward to talking to you soon.

Yours,

mr. bill

More importantly, what would your kids ask?

The King of the Handsome Boys, my boy Harrison, is also King of the Questions.  Normally it is Dad [me] who fields the barrage of questions.  Over the last few days, I have enjoyed blissful respite from Harrison’s diligent volley of “who, what, why, when, where, and how?”

[Two of Harrison's more famous questions:  "How did God make the dark?"  "Are monkeys faster than cats?"]

Why has Harrison stopped asking questions of his wise-old dad?  Santa and Mrs. Claus have vacationed with us here in Destin for the last few days.

So now you know:  Given a weekend, here are only a fraction of the questions your kids would ask Santa and Mrs. Claus . . .

“What do reindeer eat?”  “How often do you [Mrs. Claus] get to go to the North Pole?”  “While Mrs. Claus and the elves are doing all the work, do you just sit and watch TV?”  “How old are you?”  “What do you use to write the list [Naughty and Nice]–pencil, pen, or crayon?”  Indicating his own height with his hand:  “Is the list this long?”  “If you’re barely good, are you at the bottom of the list?”  “How many homes do you see on Christmas?”  “How do you visit homes in other countries when they celebrate Christmas at other times?”  “How long does your trip take?”  “Do you sleep all day long the day after Christmas?”  “Do you eat all the cookies?”  “Santa–how long do you stay at the beach?”  “Do you go outside and have snowball fights?”  “Could you freeze to death in the North Pole?  The Elves?”  “Do you [Mrs. Claus] know all of the Elves?”

If your own kids have some questions for Santa, keep following the blog.  We’ll have Santa/Christmas portrait dates posted soon.  Save up your questions, and we’ll look forward to hearing them soon.

Yours,

mr. bill

It’s 3 pm on Wednesday, November 4th.  Why should that matter to you?  Simple–in only 18 hours, Santa will appear in Little Rock for his annual pre-Christmas visit!  Fortunately, I also have the chance to be there, with camera in hand.  Yeah, Santa avoids the paparazzi, but freely allows ME to photograph him.  Why?  Again, it’s simple–I’ve been at the top of the “Nice” list for a long time.

Okay, that’s not exactly true . . . Sheree has.  I’m not entirely on the “Naughty” list, I hoover somewhere in the “Tolerable” category.  Sheree also tops the “Holy-Smokes-She-Is-Still-With-Him!!!” list.  Since she’s earned a spot on both of those lists, and because Santa likes my kids, he allows us to photograph him when he visits.

If you’ve been wondering what a “Norman Rockwell” Christmas scene looks like, wonder no more!  We managed to sneak a few photos when Santa popped in to chat a few days ago.  We still have a few appointment times available, so if you’ve waited to schedule a session, call immediately!  Our studio cell is 501.766.5671.  Click here to learn more about package pricing, etc.  I hope to see you soon!

-mr. bill

We’ve been shooting photos with the big man for several years now, and each year has gotten better and better.  [The image above is from 2008.]  Through the years, I’ve noticed a trend, a pattern that might surprise you.  With almost every Santa session, we sell large wall portraits.  If that doesn’t seem odd to you, it shocks many of my Photographer buddies.  Let me stun you even more with my humble opinion:  If you buy 3 wall portraits, 1 of them absolutely should be a Santa print!  Why?  So glad you asked . . . .

Childhood is fleeting, and portraits actually stop the hands of time. When I look at photos of my own kids–or even of ME!–I go back to that place in time.  Is it any wonder why EVERY time capsule includes photographs?!  The ability to freeze time:  As a specialist in Children’s photography, it’s one of the most important elements of what I do.  More than almost any other sitting, portraits with Santa capture the wonder,  magic, and dreams of childhood.  [If you don't believe me, be sure to watch the slideshow at the end of this blog.]  So why should you have a wall portrait with Santa?

Every year, we drag out the Christmas tree, lights, decorations, etc., and dress the home for the holidays.  Many of our clients include their Santa Portraits in the holiday decor.  What could be better?  When they decorate their homes, they include a beautiful print that immortalizes the dreams of Christmas past.  Each look at the photo takes them back to a moment when their own kids still believed.

One day, Sheree and I will pass our Santa images to our kids.  Later, our grandchildren will laugh at their Mom or Dad, but the parents, my kids… they’ll go back in time, and remember.  That moment lasts forever.

ramsey boys - 2004

ramsey kids - 2008

THIS YEAR’S SANTA PORTRAITS ARE LIKE NONE WE’VE EVER DONE.  “How?” you ask.  So glad you did . . . .

*we’re shooting at two spectacular homes–

-Home of John & Timothy Olaimey, Chenal Downs in Little Rock — November 5th-8th

-Home of Tad & Robyn Thornton in Pine Bluff — November 20th-21st

*our theme is “A Norman Rockwell Christmas.”

*we’re offering Full Sessions, and for the first time, Santa portraits as a Quick Pic.

Let me clarify what that all means by answering a few of the most common questions I hear.

*I love the idea, but what if my kids don’t like Santa?

Kids love the IDEA of Santa, but meeting him in person is often intimidating.  Kids also love dinosaurs, but meeting one in real life wouldn’t be so great, either.  If your child doesn’t like Santa, never fear.  By the time Santa arrives in the session for photos, we’ve already captured several great images of your kid(s) on the Christmas scene.  Santa then peeks into the scene, in the background, while I keep your child’s attention away from him.  After this, we then introduce the Man in Red.  If spotting Santa is the end of your session [which isn't totally uncommon], we’ve already captured a great session, and you’ll have ample images for your Christmas photo selection.  Santa is extremely sensitive to a child’s reaction to him, and proceeds slowly with those who aren’t sure of him.

*Do you charge extra to have more than one of my kids in the session?

No.  In fact, we encourage Mom and Dad to come prepared for a few images of the entire immediate family.

*What clothes should we wear?

Every year, our scene is markedly different from any other scene we’ve created.  We always plan our Christmas scenes with “variety” in mind.  We’ll see a great deal of formal Christmas clothing, which is spectacular.  We’ll also see more of the rustic look–like jeans and sweaters–also fantastic.  Several kids will also come with their pajamas, as if they’ve just awakened to find Santa in the living room, and it’s really cute.

*What is the difference between a “Quick Pic” and a full session?  Why would I choose one over the other?

We’re shooting both types of sessions for Christmas this year.  Here’s the difference:

FULL SESSIONS

• will allow me much more time to capture much more variety–usually around 80-120 images to view.  I’ll reserve more time for you, and shoot for approximately 45 minutes, which will give me far more time than I’ll need to create a volume of work.
• you’ll have the luxury of returning the following week (November 12-13 for Little Rock and November 24th for Pine Bluff) to view your images.  You’ll see a beautiful slideshow, and we’ll walk with you through the ordering process as you choose your portraits/albums/cards/etc.
• if you think you’d like a wall portrait, I’d strongly encourage a full session.  If you might like an album, you’ll certainly need a full session.
• your kids will have much more time to chat and play with Santa!
• our Santa Reservation Fee is $350 ($25 Santa Fee & $325 Portrait credit)  [click here to pay session fee].  This fee is required in order to reserve your time.  Because of our limited sessions, we do not hold appointments without our reservation fee.  If you would prefer to call with your credit card info, feel free — 501.847.7899.
• our standard price list applies to full session [click here to see our prices].
• understand that the Reservation secures Mr. Bill’s time just for you!  Therefore Santa Reservation Fees are non-refundable.  If you call within 72 hours to reschedule your session, we will do our best to accommodate your request.  If you have a friend that would like to take your appointment, we’ll be happy to assist you.  Otherwise, your deposit will not be refunded unless we can re-book your appointment.

QUICK PICS

• obviously, are much faster.  Our session will last no longer than 15 minutes.  I’ll still shoot with and without Santa, but have much less variety–about 10-20 images to view.
• you’ll select your portraits immediately after your session.  [Sorry, we won't have time to prepare a slideshow.  Images will show straight from the camera--no cropping, color correcting, retouching, etc--all of that work will apply to the prints that you order, you simply won't see it during the preview session.]
• we have very few appointment slots available for Quick Pics on Friday evening through Sunday.  Most of these appointments will be on Thursday or Friday morning.
• our Santa Quick Pic Reservation is $175 plus tax ($25 Santa Fee & $150 Portrait credit).  If you want to schedule this type of session, you will need to call as we might not have any more sessions available.
• due to the quick nature of shooting, and ordering in a large volume, Quick Pics are slightly discounted  [see below].  We do alow you to order more than one package!
• you may purchase different poses on the Additions pricing, however we do ask that your purchase a wall portrait 16×20 or larger or one portrait package when you order.
• we will have many beautiful custom-designed Christmas cards — we do ask for a minimum $259 portrait purchase.
• understand that the Reservation secures Mr. Bill’s time just for you!!  Therefore Santa Quick Pic Reservation Fees are non-refundable.  If you call within 72 hours to reschedule your session, we will do our best to accommodate your request.  If you have a friend that would like to take your appointment, we’ll be happy to assist you.  Otherwise, your deposit will not be refunded unless we can re-book your appointment.

*How long will it take to get my portraits/cards/gifts back?  Where will I pick them up?  Will I have time to mail my Christmas cards?

• Little Rock Santa Sessions — Portraits and Card Orders will be available for pick-up from Monday, Nov. 30th – Dec. 1st, 10:30 am – 6:45 pm at the Olaimey’s Home, plenty of time for mailing cards and wrapping presents.   Albums will be mailed to your home, arriving no later than December 16th.   We guarantee your order will arrive in time or we will refund your money.  This is our 6th year to shoot Santa portraits and haven’t refunded money for anyone.  Time and service are always our top priorities!!
• Pine Bluff Santa Sessions — Portraits and Card Orders will be available for pick-up on Friday, Dec. 4th, 12 noon – 6:45 pm at the Thornton Home, plenty of time for mailing cards and wrapping presents.  Albums will be mailed to your home, arriving no later than December 21st.  We guarantee your order will arrive in time or we will refund your money.  This is our 6th year to shoot Santa portraits and haven’t refunded money for anyone.  Time and service are always our top priorities!!

We look forward to seeing you this Holiday season!!  As always, call or email with any questions.  Thanks again for trusting us with your precious memories!  We consider it an honor!

Mr. Bill & Sheree

You must place your card order by December 10th in order to guarantee Christmas delivery, so don’t delay!

We look forward to seeing you this Holiday Season!

]]> http://blog.beyond-photography.com/portrait-christmas-card-designs-for-2008/feed/ 0 http://blog.beyond-photography.com/santa-visits-central-arkansas-for-portrait-sessions/ http://blog.beyond-photography.com/santa-visits-central-arkansas-for-portrait-sessions/#comments Tue, 30 Sep 2008 17:14:55 +0000 Mr. Bill http://blog.beyond-photography.com/?p=175

Santa Portraits in the Candy Land —

Saturday, November 1 & Sunday, November 2 at Lads & Ladybugs, NLR

Santa Portraits in Your Home
New this year–We are scheduling Portrait Sessions with Santa in your home.  Details: Reservation Fee is $750 (applies toward your portrait order), 24″ minimum print required & Santa Fee of $250.  If you are interested, contact us today as these sessions are extremely limited.  We will begin booking October 10.