Bill's Blog

Some jobs are scandalous.

Not “scandalous” in the ripping-folks-off/stealing kinda way, but “scandalous” in the are-you-serious-that-you-really-get-paid-to-do-that?! kinda way.  Let me tell you about a few of them.

Back in High School, before I was known as “Mr. Bill,” I was known to children of the town as “The Mr. Snowcone Man.”  Yes, I ran the local snowcone stand.  In the heat of summer, I stood in a frigid metal building, slinging syrupy deliciousness.  I could eat all the snowcones I wanted, and no–I never got tired of them.  [Probably my favorite was 1/2 Peach, 1/2 Lime.]  It’s ironic that my job required me to maintain a spotlessly clean workspace.  How did I lose that skill?

Fast forward a few years, and see me as a Youth Minister, sometimes a Preacher.  What a great job!  You know how you go to the movie theater on a weekend night, and there is a crowd of teens milling around the front, acting like fools, trying to impress each other?  Isn’t it irritating to see them there?  Not to me–that’s, oddly, when I most miss being a Youth Guy . . . I used to know 1/2 of those kids, and I’d be milling around in the midst them.  I don’t think I performed that job especially well, but I sure did love it.  More irony–I didn’t act too much like a teenager when I was one, then I’m hired to relate to them.   I wasn’t the “cool guy” Youth Minister, I was more of the “Not-a-Teen, Not-a-Dad” Youth Minister.

And somewhere before and after the Youth Ministry years, it’s “Bill the Tilesetter.”  Post-college, with a degree in hand [Double Major, actually], no job, and no serious marketable skill . . . Steve/the Sohlman hired me to train as a Tileguy.  That, after college, is when my education really began.  Without a doubt, both of my boys will graduate High School as competent Tilesetters.  It’s a fabulous gig!  You’re always meeting new people, you see immediate results from your work, you provide a lasting improvement to someone’s home, you employ your problem-solving/unravel-the-mystery skills . . . and frankly, it’s therapeutic to physically work your body to exhaustion.  Random note:  My tilesetting years taught me about my extreme saltiness.  When I sweat profusely, and it dries on my skin, I have white salt deposits left on my arms and shirt.  Freakish.  When time allows, I’ll sometimes jump back into a tile job with the Sohlman.

And now I envision myself as the old guy visiting the “College and Career” class at the local High School [do they still have those?].

“Class, this is Mr. Bill from Beyond Photography.  He’s been nice enough to come here, please give him your attention.”

In my mind, I stand before those young, impressionable, disinterested minds, and talk about being a Portrait Photographer.  I tell them how I still get to play with babies [and change diapers occasionally], I meet people from all walks of life, I have Santa’s cell number [shameless name-dropping there], and I travel the country creating portraits of families.  I finish my brilliant, witty, inspiring presentation, and the students leap to their feet in applause.  Some cry, some swoon, some stare speechless.  They’ve been moved, motivated to be better citizens of our great nation and world. All in a day’s work for me.

Then the unaffected Career Day teacher decimates my brief glory.  Kids snap to attention, instantly forgetting me when the teacher concludes:

“Tomorrow, class,” he drones, “we’ll hear from a professional Magician.”

DOH!  Not the Magician!!!

Scott

I’ve known this guy since 8th grade . . . and he was practicing sleight-of-hand back then!  We even attended Clown Camp together . . . yes, a real summer camp about being a Clown.  Little did we know how it would serve our respective careers.  Ask me sometime to blow bubbles with soap and my hands, or balance a metal chair on my chin.  Did I mention that I can juggle, too?  Great skills, yes, but they pale in comparison to a bona-fide Professional Magician!  How professional, you ask?

Currently Scott performs over 300 Live shows a year. Scott has been seen in Magic magazine, the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, and on television affiliates for ABC, CBS, NBC, &  FOX.  He’s opened for comedian Jay Leno and for Las Vegas Headliners “The Scintas” at the  Rio Hotel and Casino Resort.

In case you’re wondering . . . over 300 shows a year is absolutely unheard of in the magic world!

Scott recently hired me to create some new promotional work for him.  He’s performing at the amazing Rae Lynn Theater in Hot Springs, AR through the summer [he's actually on a plane back from Vegas as I write].  If you’re looking for an entertaining night away, and a show that your kids will love, go see him.  If you’re looking for an intelligent theological discussion, and education about random German beers, he can also help with that.

Check out the quick video below to see one of the tricks that my kids love.  If you go to the show, tell him that Mr. Bill sent you.  If you do, you’ll get . . . nothing.  But tell him anyway.

I’ll see you soon.  Thanks for tuning in, and thanks for allowing me such a scandalous job.  I couldn’t be more grateful.

Yours,

-mr. bill